Ever been kissed?

My half sided love story started like a movie. Except for the fact that it started on the 4th day of college not on the first day.

I saw her. She was wearing a navy blue salwar kameez. Her face would give you the impression that a very chubby baby has just woke up from the sleep and therefore the cheeks were like all pink. A dark kajal around her big eyes were the icing on the top. And the lips...my god...just imagine the mist morning of not so chilly winter. The mist settles on the freshly bloomed pink rose and you just want to touch that thing, for no reasons that your mind can justify, but just to feel it. I think you get the picture.

But then again, i have the fetish for beautiful lips. They just attract me like a iron to the big gigantic magnet. I just want to kiss her.

She, being a fresher like me, was also looking around for some known faces to talk to. I thought that this is the time...i should go and talk to her. Just when i got the courage to go and say " Hi
I am also a fresher" my mind called out to me and said thats the most stupid line that it has ever heard in the life. But then again its my mind therefore i believed it and thought for another line.

" Hi, my name is Anil...no no ...i should start like...hi ..my name is kumar...anil kumar...naah ..too much "james bondish"...

" Hi Nidhi" I heard.

There was a bunch of girls who were talking to her. I guess they were from the same school as hers. She started smiling and laughing. I know i have described alot about the lips but this laughter and the smile...god..i have no words. You have to be there to feel the charisma.

I couldn't stop staring at her body for all the "society-wise-wrong-but-man-wise-right" reasons. She was not thin. She was not totally fat. But it was like she had the right amount of fat at right place. Again, I think, you got the picture.

Before i could say anything to her the bell rang. And everyone left for the lecture. She went to different department than mine.

Months passed and then this is today. 14th feb. The day every single guy thinks..yes thats right...thinks...that he would dissect his heart out for the girl he " suppose" he likes. And i am no different. I also thought today is the day.

I woke up.

( at 6 ..usually i wake up at 8 to attend the lectures at 8:30)

Brushed my teeth.

Picked up the dumbells , they were heavy, so i put it down.

Went in the bathroom. Took a long one hour bath.

Opened up the new hair gel bottle that i bought yesterday. Applied the gel on the hair to make it look cooler than me.

Opened the new deodorant bottle, again, bought it yesterday.

Wore the sexy black shirt. Blue jeans.

Stood in front of the mirror...gave myself a wink. My heart was saying, you look very good. My mind was saying, don't accept anything below getting laid. I shook my head vigorously to bring it back to normal state.

In ten minutes i reached the platform, i saw that the local train which would take me to the station near my college was just leaving. I ran and boarded the train.

I stood near the gate, so that i can feel like Vivek Oberoi of movie saathiya and for a moment i felt like him but then i was pushed to get down at the station.

Out side the station there was the flower shop. I bought some pink roses for her. On the way to the college i kept on thinking what would be my opening lines and the effects after that.

I would hold her hand and say " Hi, I am anil kumar. I like you. Would you be my valentine?"

She will say yes and then she we will kiss like we have known each other for ages.

How would be my first kiss?

I have read everything over the internet about a good kiss, and what a good kiss makes you feel. I seen alot of movies and made notes of what should and shouldn't be done in kissing. I have even practiced it with my pillow.

I was confident that the kiss will be like which makes you feel you are in love even if you are not. You forget everything. Yourself, the world everything.

"By any means i will get my first kiss from a girl which is not related to me." I said to me.

" What a ridiculous thing to say?, are you that desperate?" My heart argued.

Because it was valentines day, alot of the classes were empty. Couples were either sitting in the lawns or just walking with each other holding hands.

My eyes were searching for the one.

I looked for her in her class room. But she was not there. I looked in the library but she was not there. I looked in the canteen she was not there. My heart started sinking that she has not come to the college today.

Suddenly i saw her. No, No, not her but the girl with whom i have seen Nidhi on the first day.

I went near to her and asked " Do you know where is Nidhi? "

" Yes she is in Room 31B . She was completing her notes."

" Is she alone?"

" Ya, the psychology lecture just got over. She was the last one in the room"

" Ok Thanks "

31B was on the second floor. I climbed the stairs up. After reaching the second floor, i pulled out the flowers from my bag. The rooms were on the left side. I adjusted my hairs, my shirt looking in to the glass fitted in the window of the classroom. I read the classroom number.

" 29 B"

I moved ahead.

"30B"

My heart was beating like a mad monkey in the cage. I took a deep breath to calm down my heart.

There it was.

" 31B. "

My destiny. I revised all the lines that i thought i would say. Then i took a little peak.

My heart stopped for a moment.

Nidhi was kissing some other guy. They holding each other tightly and were kissing passionately.

I stood there for 5-10 seconds, watching them, wondering what to do?

Should i barge in and therefore make it stop. Should i go and beat the hell out of the other guy. Should i slap Nidhi ? Slap her? but why she doesn't even know my name.

I decided i would not do anything and just walked back through the gallery. I dropped the flowers in the dustbin and walked slowly.

Why i was sad? I was not able to figure out? She was not my girlfriend. She had all the right to do whatever the hell she wants to do. She could even kiss, Shakti kapoor, i wont mind.

May be it was because i wanted to be the one in love.

To be loved.

Its not that only Boyfriend and girlfriend kiss each other. My mom kisses me on the forhead. My father kissed me on the head. A kiss is a way to show that you care. You love.

I left the college building- thinking many things. Things like:

whether my she was my real love or just an obsession.

I should kill that guy.

I wasted my money on deodorant and gel.

I will not wear this black shirt.

I will just go at home and go to sleep.

May be i will watch something on TV.

As these thoughts were passing through i reached the railway station. I sat on the bench.
The scene of Nidhi kissing the other guy was just rushing through my head.

" Bhaiya, please give me some money" Begged a little girl. I ignored the voice.

" Bhaiya, please give me some money" she said again.

I looked at her. She was like 5-6 year old girl. Her hair were very dirty. She had black spots all over her hand. She was wearing a white frock which had become muddy gray and had black spots all over the frock also, probably because she has been wearing this dress for a very long time. She had very big eyes. She had very eager eyes, like she was actually looking for something. There was dry stretch of the running nose over her lips just below the nose.

"Bhaiya, i have not eaten anything from two days" she said again. But this time her voice was cracking.

" Bhaiya, please give me some so that i can eat something, i am really hungry" Her voice cracked some more.

I looked at her. I looked at her eyes. Her eyes were filled with tears. I could not bear it. I stood up from my seat and went to the food vendor at the station. I brought some vada paav. Got it wrapped in a newspaper. I looked around the station to look for the girl. I could not find her.

As i was about to return those vada paav, i saw her drinking water from the water tap, probably to keep the hunger down she was drinking some water.

I called her and made her sit on the bench. I sat beside her. I gave the vada paavs wrapped in the paper to her. She opened the packet and started eating. I dont know how to describe that scene, She was eating those vada paav very fast, it was cute to see a 6 year old eat and it was sad to see that she has eaten something after two days. A look of content was already visible in her eyes.

" The local arriving on platform number 2 is a slow local to thane" was the announcement. I saw my train arriving on the train.

Suddenly i saw a crumbled newspaper being thrown on the floor. It was thrown by the girl. She had finished her meal.

"Happy? " i asked her.

She nodded in agreement with her mouth still filled with vada paav. I saw the train arriving on the platform.

Suddenly i felt two little arms around my neck and before i could react she kissed me on the cheek.

" Thank you bhaiya! " she said.

I felt a sudden calmness running through my body. I waved her good bye and boarded the train.